An open letter to my Father, Mitt Romney

Dear Dad;

I hope now you can see how Matt, Josh, Ben, Craig and king dick Tagg, have sold you down the river. Millions of dollars wasted. That's a lot more than the $424 you send me every month.

What do you think Tagg was doing in the Mittmobile? It wasn't getting you votes, maybe he was spending too much time trying to kill dogs or break my hands.

Dad, I love you. Do you remember when you said you loved me? And then when you said you didn't love me? And then when you said you now realize you love me and then when you said on second thought you don't love me? ANd then when you said you, in fact, genuinely love me? And then when you said you had time to think about it and you couldn't love me? Well, that hurt!

But now I see you are just all mixed up. Money can't buy you votes or love. But it could buy my love. Not because that money would buy my love, but if you gave me money it would show me you love me as much as those horse faced jerks known as my half brothers.

If you let me I will campaign for you in New Hampshire. I have spent all my money investing in Ron Paul's blimp, which turns out not to be an investment at all- I was duped into donating to him and now he's not even allowed into the Fox debate. I have had to take a lot of clonipin and percoset for my hands which Tagg had broken.

I await your response. Come home Dad.

Love Seth